This post is a partial transcription from the Lumination Following Your Heart.
Change can be challenging in so many ways. And a very potent aspect of change is knowing your circumstances are changing, but not knowing what to. You simply know that what is familiar and known is disintegrating. And that leaves you in a place that can just feel weird.
What you’re used to holding on to, what what grounds you, what orients you may have changed leaving you with a sense of there being less to hang on to, fewer familiar guideposts. While that can be disconcerting perhaps you can also rest in the aspect of it that is liberating, that is expansive, that is freeing.
This may be something to get used to in a particular way. This place where you feel less sure. Where there is less that you absolutely know. Or perhaps there’s actually more that you absolutely know. It’s just completely different. Perhaps what you absolutely know is an experience rather than knowledge, rather than information.
Perhaps that thing that you absolutely know, does not stay the same, but is in constant motion. It’s alive. You walk forward one foot and then the other. Even though the ground underneath each foot may not feel solid, can that be okay? It is okay with your heart. Your brain might be objecting but it’s okay with your heart. And in a way it engages your heart, it focuses your heart, energizes your heart – this a liveliness of the present moment. as it is, not as it is expected to be. The brain catches up with the heart when it recognizes that it’s a little bit out there on its own. It extends down to the heart to be a part of the fullness of the heart of the wholeness.
Absorb that energy that it is okay. It’s okay not knowing. And that it’s actually easier to be in that not knowing. After letting go of the constant questioning to know the unknowable, which is “what’s next” the mind gets a taste of that ease that comes with releasing the urgency to know.
Each breath is like a wave gives the brain a little bit more of that experience of wholeness that comes up from the heart, that is held in the heart, that is experienced within the heart. Then why not live in the heart all the time? What pulls you out? What ideas do you have that you have to do something other than rest in your heart?
Where are the circumstances where your mind thinks but under this circumstance, I do have to do something different. This is required of me or that is required of me. What are those circumstances for you?
Now with that circumstance or those circumstances right there in the front of your mind, find your heart. How does this field of your heart address that idea, that circumstance that your mind thinks needs to be addressed differently. What does your heart do with it? What is the experience within your heart, the sensation within your heart when it is holding that circumstance that your mind thought needed to be addressed in another way?
How does your heart feel as it holds that situation? Does that sensation does that experience excite you, ground you, scare you. Can you stay with it? Whatever it is. It is a sense of aliveness. And maybe it is an experience that is very familiar to you. Or maybe it’s not. Perhaps it’s an experience you haven’t been allowing yourself to have. And that’s why your mind decided it was something that it should handle and not your heart.
As you stay with this experience of your heart, with each breath, can you sense that you are capable of this experience, that you can stay with it, that it’s not something that you need to hide from, run away from.
Stay with your heart even longer, or if you’ve wandered, comeback to it again. Every moment that you’re there, your nervous system aligns to that being okay. With the programming to run strong, appreciate that you’re giving yourself this moment to do something different, for more of your cells to absorb the okayness of staying with your heart. As you stay with your heart does your experience of it change? Does it show you new aspects of itself, yourself?
What does that mean? That could simply be it opens up into a particular direction it opens downward and expands outward it grows longer like a column, it seems active, it seems quiet – could be anything. It could be it invites you to move your body in some particular way, and when you do there is some experience that surprises you. Following whatever it shows you may lead to something else, and following that thing may lead to something else. The more you follow, the more is revealed to you. Each thing you follow somehow gives you more permission to follow further.
You may wonder “what is the meaning of this” of the experience being given to you. Can you let it just be whatever it is, that it’s simple being as it is, is enough, without a reason that can be explained. That makes things a little easier. One more thing that doesn’t have to be understood or explained. One more experience that you can just be with, without having to justify it. Soften into the ease of not having to justify the moment that you’re in to yourself or to anybody else.
This is freedom from bondages we don’t even know we have – the ideas that things need to be logically explained, justified, right. The amount of your body’s creative energy that is locked up in those ideas that you may not even know you are carrying – that energy is freed up as you allow yourself to follow what is being revealed in this moment, and let it take you to the next now moment, and the next.